Dear Oprah,

No, it's not an inside joke, but if you know me, you know I LIVE for Saturday Night Live and the talk show with the two chicks from Brooklyn (Maya and Amy). They tawk about sweata weatha in NY. I love the 'accent' and I love the sketch and them like the sun.

Speaking of love...

You know when you are in it?

For me, I can't remember what it's like, but I have a good feeling I remember.

You see, I've been on the search for the perfect winter sweater.

It's sweata weatha!!!

I'm looking for the one!!

The one that will take me from the yoga studio to the nightlife in yummy sexy cuteness.

It's hard to find, I know, but it's like love...you just know and so, I'll know it when I see it and I have a great idea of the details that make up said perfect sweater.

Just like my search for the perfect man. Ok, I'm not on the search, but I have an idea of who, said man will be. I know he will not be perfect. Like the perfect sweater, it will pill and need special cleaning instructions, so I know it won't be easy.

I can deal with the maintenance and the flaws, but I have an idea of its values that outweigh its maintenance.

The perfect sweater is neutral, a snow white or oatmeal in color. Yummy and oversized but snugging where and when I need it to snug. It will keep me cozy but leave me room to breath.

Actually, that sounds a lot like the perfect man too!

Well, I've been searching for a while now, at least a few seasons. I've bought a few and then regretted it after a day or so, I send it back, return it and forget about it till I'm on the search again.

Hmmm, that too, sounds a lot like my recent experiences with men. hmmm. No refund though. Final sale.... I’m never getting that time OR money back!!

Thank g-d for retail!

I've tried on a lot of em. I really like a few of them. But then.... not so much.

So, I search again.

Then...I'm on a date with one of my best girlfriends.

And I see him. I mean, it.

I remember it like yesterday.

It was just a few days ago.

But really, I'll remember it always, cuz that's how long this sweata's gonna last!

I see it walking out of a store. Hot mama, hot pants, hot boots, hot hair, and HOT sweater!!

Friend and I walk into the store and find the same sweater!

Wow, meant to be.

It's love at first sight, touch, and embrace of wool to skin!

Get a room!!

I did. Clothes were tossed around. I stripped in a passionate fervor that would rival any movie love scene. Buttons popping, breath quickening and it's ON! It's hot. I mean, I'm hot.

It's a freekin' sweater, so, I'm hot.

And I look great. Cute, sexy, sweet and WARM. Yum.

It's also a fortune.

I put my clothes back on and I'm flushed. Hair strewn, breathless.

Friend and I walk around the mall some more and she's talking but I can't hear a word she says. I'm in love.

She looks at me and says, you have your credit card with you right?

I nod.

She says, it's worth going into debt. You'll have it forever.

I tell her, if I don't buy it with you, I'll never have the memory and I want the memory.

We go back to the store, pop music, smell of pine in the air. It’s Christmas and I put the dang sweater on the card.

If I wear it every day for half a year, it will be a dollar a day.

I tell the woman it's a gift and to wrap it up.

She puts it into the prettiest box and ties it up with the most beautiful ribbon.

I take that box home.

I take him home, honey.

I look at it. I light some candles. Run a bath, pour a glass of wine. Sounds romantic, huh.

I take out the Glamour Magazine…where I will be published in 2011. I savor every moment with myself and pamper myself…

I sleep in that sweater.

I wear this sweater every day and people turn their heads and stop me on the street.

You look younger!

You look happier!

I'm in love!

I look goooooooood!

I regret most things I buy. I have a guilt complex.

I don't regret this. Not one bit. Not one moment. Not one bill. It’s like a mini vacay. And I haven’t had a vacay in.L&++P{QLHWO*&)#*)*?

Love goes beyond all money if you love something.

When you know, you know.

I love this sweater. I love it in good times and in bad. Till death do us part. I work hard for the money and I don’t use rationalization to justify things. I do when I feel deep down to my bones. I have to. I’ve lost everything so I know what it feels like to be homeless and live out of my car, to rely on meals from expense accounts of employers and even though it’s been a long time since those days, I still revert to that place of scarcity and understand abundance surrounds you when you give. I give all the time, from my work to my time.

I’m so fortunate to have the support I need to make my dreams come true and I get scared when I want something material, so I tend NOT to buy anything. But sometimes, it’s ok to buy for yourself. That gift of goodness can turn into giving back goodness tenfold, even if it is material.

When you know, you know.

And so, I'll take this tip from myself.

Come from a place of abundance and you will be abundant. Come from a place of scarcity and you will be scarce.

I’m not saying one should go into debt…that was a joke in the moment. I have sincere issues about buying things for myself. But, this sweater taught me a good lesson. Being with my dear friend helped too. It made a memory out of buying something good for myself, and created a whole evening of self-love that I wouldn’t have received from anyone else but me…and certainly not any trial man.

When you love something and want it, it’s ok to get it. It doesn’t have to require a lot of effort. And in my case, I had credit to use, not a lot, but enough to make me feel happy and not suffocated.

And, if I go on the search for the perfect man.... it’ll be the same thing. No regrets, happy, but not suffocated, effort and effortless.

Paying the bill,

Lady