When I was 14 I had the maddest crush on MG. I was a freshman and MG was a senior. I walked into my first day of Commercial Art class (comic strips, design etc.) and there he was, all handsome and Jewish with a big toothy smile. And he was talented. I loved the way he drew shoes. Nikes, to be more specific.

It turned me on at 14. I didn't know what that meant yet, but I knew he did it.

I couldn't drive yet but I made my mother, the coolest woman on the planet, drive me past his house.
Many times.
The lights are on, what is he doing?
The lights are off, what is he doing?

I found out he worked at this retail store in the Vernon Hills Shopping Center in Scarsdale.
I wasn't legally allowed to work at that age save for babysitting and lawn-mowing. Children scared me and for that matter, so did lawns. I was a year or two away from when most people started getting summer jobs but I was a zealous creature so I thought, why not, make some dough and get closer to my future husband.

Laurie G.
Mrs. Laurie G.
M and Laurie G.

My mother, the coolest woman on the planet, pulled out the old typewriter and doctored my birth certificate so that I could apply for a job at MG's store.

I knew I was creative and talented too and I loved where my mind went with him in it.

I could see us folding fleeces and laughing, pitching display tents and tumbling over each other under the canopy, labeling and tossing box after box of silk underwear from one end of the store to the other where I would giggle and blush as I stacked the shelves, rolling our eyes when, Paul Simon's Mother And Child Reunion played for the 40th time on our shared shift.

My mother and I got away with our brilliant plan and I was hired as a sales associate. My dream was going to become a reality.

On my first day, I realized that I was hired to replace MG as he got an internship somewhere. The world was a lot more complex and serious for him since he was older and getting ready for college, hence his flee from retail.

My world, was flat.

I understood, but was crushed.

I folded fleece, labeled silk underwear and poked myself in the eye, groin and shoulder with that freekin' tent as I pitched it all by myself. I slowly went crazy, Clockwork Orange insane with Paul Simon and Fleetwood Mac constantly ringing in my ears.

I bagged the job come Summer and became a lifeguard, twirling a whistle around my finger and watching infants drown.

Since then I've crushed on many a man and driven by their family homes, prank called them (miss those days), dreamt of smiling happy memories I would create with them, only to have the shattered by some other girl or some college to take them away.

It's been while since I've been single and here I am again, crushing. But this time, it's waaaaay different.

It has nothing to do with another human being.

It has to do with apartments.

I have applied for, gotten excited pitter pats in the heart for, lost sleep over, shopped on line for furniture for, driven by, walked up, sat by, imagined cooking in, sleeping in, inviting friends over to enjoy, meditated in, practiced yoga in, jetted from and retreated to, blogged in, created in, cried and laugh out loud in and fallen in love.

Then I'm told, I'm just not good enough to be with.

Instead of not being skinny enough, pretty enough or old enough, my credit score is too low. It's good but not great and self employed means you haven't joined the masses of the corporate world, so you are a risk.

I'm crushing on apartments, people. I've sunk to a very odd low. I feel very strange about this and I'm just sharing it. I'll get over it for sure but the feelings. The way I feel, on both sides, the in love and crushed part, I haven't had these emotions since I was young and well, new to those emotions.
It's the only thing I can liken it too and I'm surprised I can still have them. Not thrilled about it, but surprised that I can feel so wonderful then lost in one phone call or drive by or what does that mean.
We are so different, people and apartments. I haven't heard one of them yet say, it's not you, it's me so I guess that's a good thing.

I know there are many apartment fish in the sea and Apt. Right is around the corner somewhere. Literally. I'm only looking in a six block radius.

I went for a walk this morning and went up to my latest crush. I put my little hands on the door and rested my forehead on it's number 14.
Full kitchen, you know just what to say. Carpeting, right there. Parking, that's it!!
4 blocks from the beach, OH YEAH!!!!!!!!!!

It's so right. But maybe it isn't. Maybe the universe knows the right one for me and is offering me side tracking delusions and one night credit checks to keep me on my toes.

But this one, we look so cute together.

When you are in it, you don't see it, you just want it, like that cookie sittin' right in front of you. And you don't believe that there could be anything standing in the way of what you want.

That's life. There are always obstacles to challenge and test your passion for things, to make certain what you want is what you want.

And sometimes an apartment or guy, looks great at first, but then turns bald and fat 15 years later and you thank goodness you didn't end up with that.

I'm just sayin'.